Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
