so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it hurts more in the daytime
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
