I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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