I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
