Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
