i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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