My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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