very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
