My hand turned me down
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
