A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We need to get me chipped asap
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
