i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
