the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
