we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
