I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Buhtt sex?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize