There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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