I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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