I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
