we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
