We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
