I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
