Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
