Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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