she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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