dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
