blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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