This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
