I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
