On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
look no pants
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
