Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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