I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
