Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
