One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
