is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
