I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
