Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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