i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
