so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
try to milk me bitch
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
