Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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