I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
