I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
