Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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