Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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