Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
