idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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