It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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