If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You took a bar mat shot.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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