you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
