I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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