so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
