The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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