your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
