you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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