Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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