im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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