I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
