I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
