she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this must be what syphilis tastes like
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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