So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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