No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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