i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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