I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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