Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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