my mouth tastes like poor choices
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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