how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
