yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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